that night you told me you missed me and as much as i hate to admit it, it meant everything to me.

1
"there are better things ahead than any we leave behind."
-C.S. Lewis-

2
i called because i wanted you to know that despite everything
that's happened and all the miles between us right now,
i still think about the way it was in the beginning.

3
"if a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. if a man doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. allow your intuition, or spirit, to save you from heartache."
-Oprah Winfrey-

i had other quotes that perfectly explain what my mind is going through right now but irene [my laptop] can be a bitch sometimes and those 2 or 3 quotes are gone now. and i could recreate them but i wouldn't want to get them wrong. so poo, here it is.

but that doesn't mean that i miss you.

1
on the good days i feel like i get it, like it all makes sense. i can stay in the moment. i don't have to control everything in the future, and i believe everything is gonna work out fine. on the bad days i just want to grab the phone and start dialing numbers. i want to pull my hair and run through the streets screaming. but thanks to the people i've met in these rooms, i'm pretty sure i'm gonna make it through today
++Traffic

2
i wish you were here to find me, smile, drag me out dancing, soft smile sliding out the syllables of my name in reproach, except, maybe you don't go out dancing? that's okay by me, i could be all dressed up and we could sit in your room and talk about art and smile shyly at each other and wonder how we will ever cross that divide to the first kiss. maybe it'd be nice to cross that huge divide. i like the idea that you'd be there, on the other side of it, waiting for me.

you were the one i loved, the one thing that i tried to hold onto

i really hate to say this, but i think this is my last update for a long time, if not ever. college has completely changed my life and i just can't put in the time like i used to. that's not to say that i've stopped reading quotes, because i haven't. i feel really bad because i know a lot of people like to read my entries [you have no idea how grateful i am for all of you] but there's more to life than xanga, and there's more to life than reading quotes and wishing life was the way you want it be instead of what it is. i hope all these quotes inspire you like they inspire me, and that at some point you won't need to sit and read all these in order to feel fulfillment and to justify feelings you have or don't have [because that's how i used to be, and it's no way to live]. ok i'm getting too serious here haha but i hope you get the message, especially since i'm not even sure if anyone understands what i'm trying to say. maybe i'm just a freak. but yeah i started this update on july 17 and i'm not going to add to it because i have to study and also i just don't want to taint it because when i typed these at 2 am on july 17 i was a completely different person. maybe i'll update at some point if i want to, but i have no idea what the future holds. i'm leaving everything public for your viewing and taking. i know i'll always be coming back here for inspiration and to relive moments, so i'm not completely abandoning this site.

OK SCRATCH ALL THAT. actually no, i meant everything. but i'm gonna experiment. maybe i'm not leaving just yet. oh who knows anymore. no one knows anything anymore. i think i'll do a few quotes a day. not entries, just typing quotes. cause i'm now feeling nostalgic for this site hahahha. oh we'll see how this works. if it doesn't work, then that whole top paragraph is in effect. oh i'm so stupidddd hahahhahaha. i reallly love you all!

july 17, 2009

[(1)]
love. fall in love and stay in love.
write only what you love, and love
what you write. you have to get up
in the morning and write something
you love, something to live for.

[(2)]
let me start off by saying that i don't believe in accidents. i'd hate to think that whatever happens is simply the inadvertent outcome of a series of random events with no preordained purpose. anyway, there's too much evidence against it. i'm not saying that the future is already decided, only that each decision we make, however small, helps clear the bath toward events that inevitably follow.
++Lemonade Mouth

[(3)]
"stress is nothing more than a
socially acceptable form of mental illness."
-Richard Carlson-

[(4)]
but love, i've come to understand, is more than
three words mumbled before bedtime. love is
sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in
things we do for each other everyday.

[(5)]
may the wind always be at your back,
and the sun always upon your face,
and may the wings of destiny carry you
aloft to dance with the stars.

[(6)]
"nothing is impossible to a willing heart."
-John Heywood-

Currently Little Voice (2 CD Set) By Sara Barielles see related

i got a laptop! and summer continues to be amazing. i hope you're all doing well <3

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[(1)]
everything we do is a choice. oatmeal or cereal, highways or sidestreets, kiss her or keep her. we make choices and we live with the consequences. if someone gets hurt along the way, we ask for forgiveness. it's the best anyone can do.
++Pushing Daisies

[(2)]
"what saves a man is to take a step.
then another step. it is always the
same step, but you have to take it."
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery-

[(3)]
"whatever you are, be a good one."
-Abraham Lincoln-

[(4)]
i miss you.
not the 'i haven't seen you in a while'
kind of miss you, but the
'i wish you were here at this very moment'
kind of miss you.

[(5)]
"there are moments when it's too quiet.
particularly late at night or early in the mornings.
that's when you know there's something
lacking in your life. you just know."
-Frank Sinatra-

[(6)]
there's almost nothing we can't get through,
so just remember it's getting better. when
things get tough just keep on breathing,
hour by hour, just keep on moving.

[(7)]
don't try to reason with your
heart or feel with your mind.
for just as the heart knows no logic,
the mind can't lead you to your soul.

[(8)]
i like to see people reunited, i like to see people run to each other, i like the kissing and the crying, i like the impatience, the stories that the mouth can't tell fast enough, the ears that aren't big enough, the eyes that can't take in all of the change, i like the hugging, the bringing together, the end of missing someone.
++Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

[(9)]
"the day will happen whether or not you get up."
-John Ciardi-

[(10)]
love knows no limit to its endurance,
no end to its trust, no fading of its hope;
it can outlast anything.
love still stands when all else has fallen.

[(11)]
and you don't have to be content,
but you do have to get on with it.

[(12)]
"enjoy the little things, for one day
you will look back and realize
they were the big things."
-Robert Brault-

[(13)]
i'm going to smile and make you think i'm happy.
i'm going to laugh so you don't see me cry.
i'm going to let you go in style, and even
if it kills me- i'm going to smile.

[(14)]
and then my soul saw you and it kind of went,
"oh there you are; i've been looking for you."

[(15)]
"to ease another's heartache is to forget one's own."
-Abraham Lincoln-

[(16)]
look for that feeling when you feel like
you're flying, and spinning, and jumping,
and scared and beautiful all at the same
time. and once you find it, hold on.

[(17)]
"may your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. i hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderufl, and don't forget to make some art-- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. and i hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself."
-Neil Gaiman-

[(18)]
there's too many things i haven't done yet,
too many sunsets i haven't seen.

my favorites = 3, 8, 14, 15, 17, 18

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Currently Holiday By Alaska in Winter see related

stop falling in love with everything that lets you down

well, it was fun while it lasted. now onto more fun. happy july!

[(1)]
"all the windows of my heart i open to the day."
-John Greenleaf Whittier-

[(2)]
passion. it lies in all of us, sleeping, waiting. and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. it speaks to us, guides us. passion rules us all, and we obey. what other choice do we have? passion is the source of our finest moments. the joy of love, the clarity of hatred, and the ecstasy of grief. it hurts, sometimes more than we can bear. if we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. but we would be hollow. empty rooms, shuttered and dank. without passion, we'd be truly dead.
++Buffy the Vampire Slayer

[(3)]
"the only normal people are the
ones you don't know very well."
-Joe Ancis-

[(4)]
which of the standard lines will we use?
i've been meaning to call you. i've just been so busy.
we'll catch up soon. let's make it a point to.

[(5)]
"destiny is not a matter of chance,
it's a matter of choice. it is nothing
to be waited for, it is a thing to be
achieved."
-William Jennings Bryan-

[(6)]
i am compelled to read more, to write more, to think more. i want to be more than i am. i don't want to be insignificant any longer. i don't want to slip by. i'm going to try not to ignore people anymore. it's a bad habit of mine that i've taken to this year.

[(7)]
"if we were to wake up some morning
and find that everyone was the same
race, creed, and color, we would find
some other cause for prejudice by noon."
-George Aiken-

[(8)]
"dreaming permits each and every one
of us to be quietly and safely insane
every night of our lives."
-William Dement-

[(9)]
it used to be so comfortable between us.
we made each other laugh and you knew
how to make me smile. so we might have
played around with the boundaries between
friendship and more, but it didn't mean anything.
©hippielove_quotes

[(10)]
you know, it saves me to think even for a
little while i owned the set of shoulders
that you came to rely on.

[(11)]
it's funny how when i found him,
he was everything i wanted and
nothing i've been looking for.

[(12)]
"i always prefer to believe the best of everybody;
it saves so much trouble."
-Rudyard Kipling-

[(13)]
"you have to do stuff that average
people don't understand because
those are the only good things."
-Andy Warhol-

[(14)]
it's true: everyone needs a reason to stay alive-- someone who justifies your existence. someone who loves you. not beyond all reason. just loves you. even just shows an interest. even someone who doesn't exist, or isn't yours. no, no! they don't even have to love you! they just have to be there to love! target for your arrows. magnetic pole to drag on your compass needle and stop it spinning and spinning and tell you where you're heading and... someone to soak up all the yearning. that's what i think.
++The White Darkness

[(15)]
and in the darkest night
if my memory serves me right
i'll never turn back time
forgetting you, but not the time

my favorites = 1, 4-6, 10-12, 15

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